Archive for March, 2009

As I thought about my dogs needing weekends I am reminded of the dogs I see daily left in the backyard staked to a tree with a rope or a chain attached to their collar. Or the more fortunate ones that are just left gated in all day. I mused why do people get dogs and how do I feel about my dogs?

Dogs are inherently a pack animal requiring socialization with other pack members. We humans took them from that pack environment and determine that natural companionable personality is best served being with us. But dogs are intended to something. All animals are “intended” to do something. More recently we have heard the Dog Whisperer reminding us what dogs need from us humans and how we can meet the needs of our four legged furry companion.

I have English Springer Spaniels. I fell in love with the breed and in hindsight I see I should have done my homework before bringing them home. But 10 ½ years ago I was introduced to two tiny furry balls of energy. Anyone who knows dogs are aware these are high energy hunting dogs. I am not a hunter.

My first pair of Springers came with “papers”. This means that in their background they have champion “hunting” genes hard wired into the brain, big time. I am not saying this to impress you, I am saying this so you know the revelations I came to when I say, dogs need weekends too.

And so when my two litter mates were about 18 months old and their hard wiring was kicking in I had no idea what to do. I was living in Belgium at the time and the vet who delivered these gorgeous dogs was my attending vet. However, due to the fact that my Dutch was measurable at best I did not ask many questions. One day he asked me to stay to talk about my dogs and as he asked me how I was doing I felt huge alligator sized tears well up as I spilled out how unruly they were and a menace in my home. Reassuring me, he directed me to a place I could run my dogs off leash and hopefully get some energy off because as many dog owners know, a tired dog is a good dog. And these guys were born to run!

But alas, I still had no doggie experience. So I found a newsgroup about Springers that directed my reading to a woman named Turid Rugaas who taught the concept of Calming Signals. She said dogs like all pack animals send out signals to each other to cohabit together. So I learned these signals and soon I was reading the language! Communicating finally in a language they knew!

And while it helped me I still could not fulfill the hunting need. They would run in the fields but I had no command. One day as I was walking in the field trying to find my dogs running amok I happened upon a Frenchman who spoke little English but enough to offer me some advice on commanding hunting dogs. Showed me how to use a whistle, hand signals and body language to get my dogs to do what they do best. Field for birds! Because you see, no matter how much we love a dog we have to take in consideration what they are bred to do and fulfill that job in them. If not, specifically as in this case, hunting or some job around the home. Dogs are never happy staked to a tree, left alone without companionship of other pack members, they need their humans often.

And a miracle happened! It is like these two wonderful dogs were waiting for me to get it. It was like…it was like poetry in motion! OH man, you should have seen them work! I would walk as they coursed in front of me. Very subtle, ever so subtle, turning an eye to me to see where I was leading them and with a slight nod of the head or a finger movement along with the words “this way” they followed and worked and worked and worked those fields every day for an hour rain or shine (Springers love rainy days) sometimes twice a day but always soul satisfied when they were done. Me too! Finally I found their job.

Then I moved back home, to America, and dogs were on leash and barking at fences or each other as neighborhood dogs passed each other on the road and a new lesson had to be taught to them as well as me. And now the job they have is to get those dang squirrels out of my trees, alert me when man or beast is within close perimeter and they walk twice a day with me to smell the neighborhood, taking of care of me! I figure if I need exercise how much more so does a dog that is bred to move and be active! And if I get too busy I see them moping around and my husband says we need to take the dogs for walk in the park or take them for a drive. Because you see, just as we need breaks in our week so do dogs! And every time we do this we can feel their appreciation coming off them. Almost like saying, thanks, I needed that!

I think what I have learned about dogs (since before I met these Springers I have had cats) is, that dogs take an active part in their human pack. Now every time I meet a dog I know what to expect from their breed background.

And now dear reader, I am off to walk my furry rat muffins because they have patiently waited here under my desk to get out in the spring morning of sunshine, squirrels and birds.

If you have a dog story to share with me please do! I am a “dyed in the wool” dog person now for over a decade and like my children or grandchildren and can talked about them or yours forever! So share!

Whether we choose to bring good memories along in life or hang on to the negative memories we could be deciding factors that will affect us in this life. My youngest sibling (of which I have five) is 50 this year and on a spiritual journey. Is that the age of the infamous mid-life crisis? No matter! Because it is yielding very positive results, for her and for me!

Not only does she share her musings but also I am benefiting with some great reads. One such book is Law of Attraction and while I must admit while going through the book I found that old “baggage” has risen up to rear its ugly head. However, this book has helped me to process many old memories.

And so I decided to share with you an excerpt of a short story of my family that I have written. My family may not remember our childhood as I have written it here but keep in mind I am writing to you from how I “remember” my childhood. To say these are facts is subject to interpretation because really, can any one of us say our memories are factual at best? Most memories are cradled in our mind wrapped around our emotions and the outcome we choose to bring out to share with others. I choose here to share the good times.

Childhood for me was being raised in a “divorced” family with five siblings. My dad was out of the picture at a tender age of five for me while my youngest sibling never even knew him. The tales of childhood memories are that we are all better off to not have known him. But my mother can best be remembered for her accomplishments of being a single, divorced woman of the 1950s. Many younger women do not remember when there was a time a single, divorced woman could not get a good job, credit or even own a home. But my mother did. She sent herself to school to get a passable job.  Bought a house for all six of us to either have a bedroom to ourselves or share with one sibling. She fed us, put clothes on our backs and took us through life at 314 South 7^th Street. And sometimes the memories of that home are shrouded in unpleasant memories of childhood. But it benefits me to remember some good memories as well.

My mother died when she and I had been estranged for most of my life. I was overseas and wailed loudly in the arms of my husband as I felt the loss of my mother. Mom and I, well you see we did not get along. She made amends before she passed and for that I will be forever grateful. And for that act she forced herself to do I have paid her tribute more than once because she cared enough to do it. Once I raised money for Relay for Life in her name because she gave up her fight with cancer too early in life. Yes, cancer was the Grim Reaper who came for her. So here I pay her tribute as I share with you an excerpt of a short story I wrote about canning and tomatoes and childhood memories.

Summertime and the livin’ is easy for kids in the early 1960s. We spent our summers just hanging about the house, going swimming at the local park’s pool and canning. It was not unusual to see kids playing in the yard or visiting the other neighbor kids instead of going to ballet, gym or t-ball. In the air you heard mowers, many of which were powered by physical labor in the age of the push mower. No one used those fancy gas or electric push mower we use today that ease over the lawn either! Also could be heard the sound of sprinklers, bees, cars and sometimes overhead a new-fangled Super Sonic Jet trying out its wings to see if it could break the sound barrier. As we would looked up, boom! And then it would move off across the sky. Such was the life on this summer day that I remember with my sisters and mother preparing an assembly line production of canning tomatoes for the winter.

My mother was a single, divorced woman who worked forty hours a week and owned our home, but a woman in her situation did not make a lot of money so with six children gaping like chicks in a nest for food she had to think up creative ways to keep us fed. My grandparents lived through the Great Depression so my mother picked up some great survival skills. One of these was canning. Canning is still done but nowadays I find canning is done more for those who want the experience or chose to have chemical free foods. Our basement had shelves with which were filled were canned tomatoes, cherries and other foods that were meant to take us through a cold winter in the cold country of Washington State. We knew that winter was inevitable with snow and cold keeping us house bound for a large part of the winter. And so we, my sisters and I, would gather in the kitchen with lids and jar seals clanging together. As we sorted them glass jars were being sorted and disinfected into pints and quarts. All this preparation so that we could “can” the red, ripe, luscious tomatoes my mother brought home for us to “put up” for the winter.

As we busied ourselves with chatter and bickering and an occasional remark, “stop that right now” of chastisement from mom the process of canning would get underway. Imagine if you will the smell of a ripe tomato freshly washed. Some of these juicy delectable maters would be put in the pot to steam off the skins; some would find their homes in homemade tomato sauce. And sometimes they would find their home in one hand with a salt shaker in the other. As we would prepare to bite into a juicy red tomato, us girls would take our much earned break, sitting on the steps. We would sit there on the back porch steps bent over so as not to drip on our clothing. But the sweet smell of tomatoes would waft up as the juice dripped down our hand over the wrist with trails of seeds dropping off bent elbow. At times, if we were not careful, the acidic juice would trail over a scratch causing a burning sensation that required immediate attention. Then, and only then, could we sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor, feeling soul satisfied basking in the late afternoon sun on that hot August day as we would sit barefooted with cutoffs (which, in those days were just the long pants that were too worn out at the knee making a second life as shorts).

Ah, now to relax and take in a job well done and the splendors of summer.
But the days of warm memories of childhood of the 1960s would disrupt into the coming decades, bringing with it the complexities of puberty and the memories that are not so pleasant today. Life was good when putting up tomatoes but soon we would learn to appreciate what we had as things began to change before our very eyes and we became partners of change not knowing what trail it was taking us.

As you can see from the excerpt of my short story that memories are tricky and can be tainted with negative thoughts that crowd in on us as adults or release us from the past. It really is up to us how we choose to remember. It follows us into adult, to parenthood, as we get older. We swear that we will never raise OUR children the way were raised, implying, there was something too negative in our family of origin. But alas, we end up using the only skills of parenthood we understand. The ones we were taught. And of course we all amend parental skills as each generation comes along. We not only use the tools from our family to muddle through but also the world around us as well. It too shapes who we are and how we build our memories. I, for one have chosen to remember well. I do not pretend to be naive about things because I know some things were not so pleasant. However, they do not own me now unless I allow it.

My youngest sibling and I were talking the other day and realized that a lot of what we grumble about are about things we make a choice to do. They are not mandatory. Such as volunteering, going to school or maintaining some relationships. These are options in life we have chosen so why complain about them IF we opt to do them? What does that attract? And the Law of Attraction states we cannot attract “more of what want, less of what we don’t” unless we take ownership of our memories, choices and many times how we saw that past memory such as that hot August summer day. Was it a positive experience or tainted by the feeling that we were so poor we HAD to put up food for the winter?

We can all decide, that doesn’t mean we do not have things happen. Everyone does. What we do with that information is the key to success.

1. Begin by bringing about an inch of water to just below boil.  You want the water to be steaming but not a rolling boil that will be too hot for your face.  Once you get it the correct temperature so that it is hot and steamy but not boiling, make a tent with a towel over your head and over the pan and steam your face for 5 minutes. Be careful to not get the towel on the hot burner and create a fire!  Sometimes I add a couple drops of some scented oil, like jasmine, grapefruit or eucalyptus. I use something that smells good or is useful for a reason, like the eucalyptus helps clear the sinuses along with the steam from the water.
2. After the five minutes turn off the water, then splash your face with cold water.  Then I use a peel off mask like Freeman’s cucumber that you find at most stores. However, any mask product that strikes your fancy will do.  You can even make one with a couple beaten eggs! I leave that on for about 30 minutes, making a thick coating on my face and neck (don’t forget your neck—that’s why women get turkey neck, they do not remember to take care of that skin, too.)
3. After 30 minutes peel off the facial mask and then wash with an apricot scrub or you can use sea salt, followed with an astringent.  I use witch hazel for my astringent.  You can use rubbing alcohol, which I feel is too harsh for me, or some store product of your liking. Then I splash my face again and then wash with Noxzema Deep Cleansing Cream (you can use any cleansing product you usually use to wash your face) and then finished with Pond’s Dry Skin Cream (again use whatever product you usually use to soften your facial skin.)
4. Manicure:  If you have nail polish on, first remove it with nail polish and wash  your hands so the polish remover is no longer on your nails.
5. Soak your finger tips in a warm, not hot bowl of water with a ½ teaspoon each of glycerin and vitamin E oil for five minutes.  Then lightly dry your hands and dab some cuticle cream or oil on your cuticles and very softly push them back.  You could even use olive oil for your cuticles.
6. I then use Mary Kay Satin Hands kit.  The first is the hand scrub. If you do not have the Satin Hands kit or chose not to buy it (can be on the pricey end) you can use the apricot scrub or mix sea salt with olive oil and use that. The apricot scrub might be a little harsh on your delicate hand skin.  Follow with lightly scrubbing your hands then rinse.  Use the Extra Emollient Night Cream, or you can use Vaseline, then put on a pair of cotton gloves for about 15-20 minutes.  After that put on the hand cream or lotion of your choice, and let that soak in for about 10 minutes before polishing your nails again.

When winter finally lets go of us (and it will even if it doesn’t feel like it) we want to get outside; and the first thing that greets us is our yard and gardens. And yuck! Now what?? Where to start?

In order to ensure that we do not high tail it right back in the house after getting a good look at our sad plots, I’ve come up with three ways to get ready for spring:

~Begin with you~

Recently, my Master Gardner group had a visitor from the local physical therapist who stopped by to share with us how to prepare our bodies for spring gardening. Whether we are young or old this information is beneficial. If we do not take care when we charge out there as weekend warriors we can cost ourselves time and money from physical accidents caused by gardening. Garden fitness is sorely (get it sorely? Bah!) overlooked. Hydration is a major key to being in the garden. While sports drinks are marketed to quench our thirst the average person’s workout does not need a sport drink for rehydration. And we need to be mindful of our health issues as well. We may be a marathon runner but trust me those are not the muscles that will be needed primarily in the garden!

One question that was asked was, so while working in the garden how much water should we have to stay hydrated?

• Before exercise: At least 2 cups about 2 hours before you go in the garden. General rule, 1 quart per 50 lbs body up to 3 quarts.
• During exercise: Drink ½ cup every 10-15 minutes.
• After exercise: At least 2 glasses of water within 2 hours of finishing your gardening.

Note: Alcohol, tea or coffee are not our friends in the garden, they are diuretics and only encourage water loss. Stop and have a rest and a piece of fruit.  There is no urgency your garden and yes, the yard will be there in 15 minutes!

Remember, even if you are a marathon runner and in excellent shape, gardening works out a unique set of muscles–so don’t over do it, regardless of how fit you think you are.

~On to the house~

The exterior of your home is the first place to start. Check the eaves for cobwebs and sweep those puppies away! Check the windows to make sure they are in good repair as well as your shutters, if you have them. The gutters are important too. Old leaves from last fall have been waiting up there for us to remove. Whether you remove them or you get someone else to do it you will be surprised how this will help out. Tree limbs should be free of the roof, in a wind they can erode your roof and be a costly bummer!

Then stand next to the house and look behind your bushes and trees that surround the foundation of your house. If you put your head parallel to the house and if you cannot see at least two to four inches of clearance they need to be trimmed now during the cooler weather. This will save you costly repairs in your foundation and keep those pesky termites at bay. Oh and pull the mulch around from the base two to four inches too!

~Now…The Yard!~

The grass is the number one thing that we all want to look good. In order to prepare you grass for the season it is best to know what your soil and grass needs are. Major DIY home stores offer pre-emergence, weed and feed and grasses for the masses but YOU are not the masses. Unfortunately, one size does not fit all. So how do you know which one is good for you? Well, you can ask your neighbor but what works for him may not work for you. Really how is best way to save time, money and energy? The best way is to start with a soil sample. You can find a kit online or contact your local County Extension Office and simply follow the directions and viola! You have a road map for your fertilization needs! And there you are, low to no stress. Like knowing the vitamins to take for you, now you help yard to be healthy too!

What about those flower beds? I always follow the concept of  “Begin with the End in Mind” that Steven Covey includes in his seven habits of success. I need to know what I want my garden and yard to be like before I get started. Maybe we cannot do all of what we want this year but over time we can….. and now I can have my coffee! I take my cup in hand with a pen and paper and stroll the back yard then mosey out to the front yard. As I look at my trees, bushes, flowers, and grass along with pruning issues that will need to be addressed for the season I jot down some notes. Make a list of what I can do now and what I can do over time. A great yard and garden usually takes an evolution of three to five years to “wow” your neighbors!

Yard tools need to be cared before the season is in full swing, mowers, edgers, weed whackers, hand tools, etc. If you didn’t cleaned them up before you put them away last fall this is a good thing to do now.

And whew! That is about it for a good start on spring gardening! Now you can sit on the patio knowing you have in mind what you want to do and are on the road to a great season. So get ready to bring out the barbeque and enjoy the fruits of your labor. I don’t know about you but I am itching to get out there. But for now grab your garden catalogs and another cuppa Joe and dream on! Happy Gardening!