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Pass it on!

A few things I owe my mother that I choose to pass on to my children are:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .”If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .”If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..”You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION “Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . “You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”

26. My mother taught me about CHOICE. “Do you want me to stop this car?”

(Contributed)

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I Live Among The Trees

“Trees”
I think I shall never see

A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest

Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

~ Joyce Kilmer, 1886-1918~

 

In my youth my height, which is 5′ 4”, was considered the average height. I felt, well average. I like average, it is a nice place to be.

As time has passed I am wondering about all the trees or the tall people in my family. How did they get so tall? Was it the increase in pollution? I know, maybe they are mutants. Or was it better health and nutrition? I think most people want to believe this to be the case.

 

Elm Tree photographed by Herbert Steed

Most days it doesn’t bother be to live among the trees. The women are now averaging 5′ 8” while the men shade me in their shadow from about 6′ 1” to 6′ 5”. The grandchildren are growing fast and will soon pass me by. It really isn’t too much of an issue until I am in close quarters say, like cooking with hungry trees rooting around the kitchen. There simply is no light! No elbow room!

Would I change it? Never, ever, not in a heartbeat. I love my trees. They make me feel sheltered and protected. Trees are intended to grow close and mine do that just that. It is okay until my son, Micah, decides to scoop me in for a hug and pat me on the head. Then with a smile he says, “mom you are so cute and short”.

That dear reader is worth all the shaded, crowded room my trees share with me.

The Purple People Eater- Watch Out!

 

Today I was on Facebook following a thread from a black man (who said he does not like the term Afro-American because frankly he isn’t from there) as he was addressing answers from anyone who wanted to ask about what is like to be black. I found the thread enjoyable and interesting.

Okay. If you have known me more than 24 hours you know the next thing that happens is I ask questions. Loads of questions. I am so curious about who, what, where and why. My questions are never intended to attack anyone. They are intended to learn more. So please understand that if I read something and start asking questions that means you got my interest and isn’t that why you posted your thread to begin with. To get interest?

So I started the first thought. When did we start calling black people Afro-American? And here I go off on a larger tangent, so how many ethnicities are reported in the United States of America. Reportable to date I found 235 groups. Cool. The basic ones we all are familiar with like Afro-American, Asian, and White but there were a few I would like to mention that are very interesting.

Cypriot Americans find their heritage or descent speaking either Greek or Turkish. A small minority speak Arabic or Armenian. Usually members of the Greek Orthodox Church, some are Sunni Muslims. The three major states that have the largest population are New York, New Jersey and Florida. I have never knowingly met a person of this ethnicity.

Another group that I found interesting is Laxsgiik that means “Eagle in the language of the Tsimshian nation of British Columbia, Canada and southeast Alaska. Another group of individuals I do not think I have met but surely would like to.

How about Islenos? This is a spanish word for “islander”. The Islenos are descendents from the Canary Islands many of who have immigrated to Louisiana, Cuba, Venezuela and Puerto Rico. Since I have not spent a great deal of time in Louisiana I have not ran into a Isleno American.

And if you go back far enough, way far back I found that when my husband and I put “white” in the category for something we could get way more detailed. My husband could be considered a Euro-American by descent since he is from the German American ancestry. Hold your horses boys and girls that doesn’t mean he is alone. There are few famous people you and I know that claim this same descent such Marlene Dietrich, John Pershing (whom my dad was name after), Babe Ruth, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Meryl Streep and Leonardo DiCaprio.

As for me? I am not sure. I do not think I am Euro-American because I was not descended from the continent. I claim the United Kingdom as my heritage and in point of fact Wales. So that would make me Welsh-American descendent. Ha! I found a home! Along with Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Ray Milland, Bette Davis and Jack London. How exciting I am more than just white! I have a culture, a background along with 235 other ethnicities in America.

So what is all hubbub dudes about where we are from or what color we are. All of the groupings make up the 2010 U.S. Census report of 308,745,538 residents. That is of course those who turned in their census reports.

I love asking questions, finding the answers and widening my horizons. We are just a melting pot and one day will melt right into looking like Purple People Eater!

 

 

 

 

What’s In A Word?

“The language is perpetually in flux: it is a living stream, shifting, changing, receiving new strength from a thousand tributaries, losing old forms in the backwaters of time.”—E.B. White, The Elements of Style

Language, in point of fact, the English language is complex and varied. Ever changing and making new rules or stretching the old rules. First as a child we are challenged to master the grammar rules as we start our grammatical education with plurals, nouns, prepositions that led to questions like “if one box is “box” then why isn’t many boxes called “boxen”? It works for ox when the plural becomes oxen, right? My favorite ponderings are about eggplant and hamburger. I mean, where is the eggs in eggplant? And hamburger has nothing to do with ham does it?

And just when we get that down new rules of communication come our way due to social media. In reading Open Forum I found familiar new rules that I have become accustomed to. Here are a few examples:

Stumble: this use to mean to walked unsteadily (something I do regularly). But now we find that if we “stumble upon” while on the Internet it means to discover new Web pages, videos or photos. I find I look at Stumble Upon at least once a week and to find something I want to share that is new and unique on social media. No, I did not misstep I know exactly what I am looking for. And the Internet allows me to stumble onto new and exciting ideas.

Troll: Oh this is my favorite. I thought a Troll was a fairy tale creature like Shrek right? Not anymore! To troll is “someone who intentionally provokes others in an emotional tizzy….in various online forums or social networks-and apparently gets off on it.” I have been entrapped in this and blurted out some horrible response that makes me feel bad once I responded in a reactionary way. Sometimes I can catch it in time to delete the response. I didn’t know there was a name for it! And I didn’t know someone was getting off on my discomfort.

At: Can be the symbol @ or just directing someone to a particular person or brand. Ha! Here I thought it was a preposition for a noun. Things have change, haven’t they?

Spam: Remember Spam? It is a food product that can be bought at any market. Now it has morphed into a completely different meaning. Every knows what spam is today because we all get those unsolicited email message cluttering up our email Inbox.

These are just a few old words with new meaning that have been added to our vocabulary. The list goes on and on. Like ping, wall or hacking. We might have thought we were confused before but now the work out on word usage has expanded. And yet, I still ask myself about some words already in use and their meaning like:

            “If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

            If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

            Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

            Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane?”

The English language is fascinating. Americans have words that can be different from the British. Mean something completely different. For example, if you are pissed in America you are angry but if you are pissed in the UK you are drunk. And can you even begin to imagine translating to another language!

For example: “she is going to have a baby” in German is “Sie wird ein Baby haben” which roughly means “It will have a baby”. It makes a difference in translation doesn’t it?  

I love learning new things and with our new age vocabulary I get a quite a work out.

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What Mother Taught Me – Anticipation


RELIGION: By saying you better pray it comes out of the carpet.

ROOTS: By saying “Shut that door behind you; you weren’t born in a barn!”

LOGIC: By saying “because I said so!”

FORESIGHT: By saying “wear clean underwearr in case you are in an accident.”

STAMINA: By saying “you’ll sit there till all that spinach is gone.”

ANTICIPATION: By saying “just wait until your father gets home.”

WISDOM: By saying “you’ll understand when you get to be my age.”

JUSTICE: By saying “one day you will have kids and they will turn out just like you!”

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Finally a new JOB…

My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as a  Wal-Mart   greeter,
a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…

About two hours into my first day on the job a very

‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7.
Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or stupid?’
So I replied,
‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at  Wal-Mart.’
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work .
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