Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Today is one of those dreary October days when it is a little bit cooler and the sky is grey. I was feeling in a funk when I started out this day because I had to take care of some unpleasant business. And as the day got going I thought, man I am just going to go grab a comforter, a stack of magazines and my two Spaniels and troop off to drift into a nap.

Which I did quite happily and then as I was waking up and finishing my reading, feeling smug that my  dogs were coming awake in what I thought was much the same easy way as I was.  I was thinking we were going to laze about there for a while since we had only been there for an hour. I was hoping to waste the entire afternoon away. Then my little spaniel girl jumps back up on the bed sitting right in front of me with her long ears flowing like tresses on a little girl. That is when I made the mistake. I made eye contact. Eye contact is dangerous when it comes to dogs because they read so much into it. And just as I looked briefly into her eyes it happened, whammo! She leaped at me faster than a speeding bullet and decided it was play time, wrestling about, growling a playful growl and trying to grab my arm in her playful attack. So quickly it happened that I began laughing and that sent her right over to the dark side. Play time! I am sure that is why my human “mom” is laughing. She wants me to growl, grab her and leap about her head! Okay human “mom” lets tussle.

Well that just whipped me right out of my funk for this day. We went out and played in the cold October weather that reminded me that it has been seven years since I got this great place I live in. Reminded me of what is important. The cool air woke me up, shifted my mood and got my perspective back in place. There is nothing like the innocence of a playful pup to break a funk. So now I am going to take her for an afternoon walk and enjoy this moment, regain my balance and get on with the day. That was just what the doctor ordered!!!

Photo Credit:  gmonster25

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry

Last Memorial Day weekend my husband picked me up at the airport after a great visit with extended family. Once we cleared the airport we decided to settle in and talk about the trip. We were both tired beyond measure and catching up on all the family news when there in our rear view mirror was the ever dreaded traffic cop light going off to tell us pull over. As the officer approached the truck he said, “you realize what weekend it is?” and of course my husband made our excuses and ponied up his license and registration for a 11 mile over the speed limit ticket.

Since then we have been trying to go the speed limit. And you know it is not that easy! No one goes the speed limit anymore. And we can be going down the road and there on your tail as if out of nowhere is one lone car right about a foot from our back bumper. No other cars in sight just this one lone car hugging the back bumper. And, why didn’t the person pass? And in the history of tailgating did it ever make someone speed up? And where the heck is everyone going like there is no tomorrow? And is this in fact an alien that just dropped down from space to hover closely behind you? As I was relating this to a friend of mine a young woman entered the room only to hear us discussing traffic and right away she says, “Man, people drive so slow!” We both looked at each other as I said “oops, that’s me!” as this young woman was coming to work and still trying to orient it was important to get slow drivers out of the way.

So I was musing about how each person sees driving from their point of view. We sit inside this window covered module thinking we are alone in the universe with our thoughts and cares of the day as we cruise down the road either kids in the back, troubles on our mind or radio blasting away. Many people are not leaving themselves time to get from point A to point B, thereby in a major preoccupied rush. Since I have been going the speed limit I have been passed (with various hand gestures that are not of a friendly nature, need I say more? ), I have been tailgated so many times I have lost count. Not once since May has the driver behind me slowed down to stay with the flow of traffic. This is a very interesting observation Which, I might add has led me to another thought about the rush we are in.

When did everything become in a hurry, hurry, hurry mode. I do it, you do it, heck we all do it! No use trying to point fingers about that right? Leading me to my last thought about it. How does the law protect me from those who push me to speed? The officer pulled us over and yes, it is true we were speeding according to the sign posted. However, why doesn’t the law protect people who try to be law abiding drivers from the peer pressure drivers? Well it has certainly been food for thought for me about driving. Bottom line is I can’t drive the speed limit. The other drivers around me will not allow it! Okay enough, enough of that high horse today I say! Driving is serious business. It is such a huge part in our daily lives. But this was an interesting concept. Paradigm shift on an old concern and so it will be here till we are all riding bicycles. Hey! Move over Lance Armstrong this“tour de urban” biker has arrived! Where’s my yellow jersey when I need it!

Summer is upon us. It is starting to ramp up to be a very hot summer. But this craziness about our country is bogging us down. In the movie Forrest Gump he ran across America. And just kept running and running then one day he stopped. When asked why he stopped he just said he thought it was time to go home. He was done with that part of his life. I get that. I have been running from project to project, job to job. Moving here and moving there all my life. And this summer I just feel like it is time to go home. My muse had not been as active as it has been in the past. Which tells me a lot of why I need to go home.

And with so much that has gone on in America and is going on I am moved to share my all time favorite poem and it seems to say a lot about where we are and who we are:

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

By  Robert Frost

Right now we are all under what Winnie the Pooh calls, “a little black rain cloud”. If you watch the news we get a steady diet of negativity. I say lets not play that game! We can’t fix this mess with worry, either way as Frost says, fire or ice will do the job. But what we can do, what we should all do, is find that place to enjoy the little piece of earth we have. So I say, lets be like Soliel, the goddess of summer. Lets be alive and full of energy.

Soliel was gracious and strong.

Soleil is full of life, energy and love.

She is nurturing, gracious and strong.

Soleil represents fertility and blossoms in full bloom.

She is the richness of the green earth,

and the warmth and heat of summer.

She is the Mother of all living things.

So lets reach out and embrace summer in its fullness. Maybe redecorate our home or dust off that bathing suit and go to the beach. This is the time of year that all the summer goddesses are in the air. Get your favorite jewelry out and wear it! Embrace the summer! One of the scariest things I ever did was stop and relax. The silence was deafening and heavy. But once it is overcome you hear birds and wind and mowers in the background and airplanes. The sounds move to the foreground.

Then to see all the things around us, I mean really looking. I have been “looking” lately and I can see I wasn’t paying attention.  Like recently I went to visit my daughter and her family. My granddaughter and I got up before anyone else and just sat and talked for almost an hour. I saw how pretty she was, how smart she is and how lucky I am she is in my life. And she is only 6 years old! It was one of those moments in life I won’t soon forget. We embraced the morning. It was great.

Now I am energized to embrace the summer! Thank you “Q” mom for giving me such great grandchildren!!!

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further, the wife picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. 'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'

On the PA system: 'Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down…'

• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run–anywhere.
• People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• You can eat supper at 4 pm.
• You can live without sex but not your glasses.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your eyes won’t get much worse.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

And Remember!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.