“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

–Sophia Loren

Aging. It happens to us all. And in the culture that worships youth it seems like it is not until we enter what Jane Fonda describes as “the third act” of life that it becomes important to pay attention. I recently read that my generation is living an average of thirty-four years longer than my great-grandparents and yet as each generation gets longer I have just now begun to see acceptance of aging.

Women who make their money in Hollywood like Diane Keaton, Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep and Ellen Degeneres all have opted to age gracefully. There was a time that women in their age group would have gracefully bowed our of public life. But not so anymore. The fear of aging, seeing “oldness” is common in advertising.

Interestingly, most geneticists tell us that our genetics make up about 30 percent of our reason for longivity. So the other 70 percent we are responsible for through the life style we live. That is shocking when I ponder it. That through eating habits, whether we drink too much alcohol, take drugs, become obese or just take too many risks we cut our lives shorter by 70 percent. Who hasn’t heard people running so fast to work, to the gym, to pick up the kids or whatever and picking up a coffee or a burger letting stress lower the life span.

But what if, just what if it was done right. What if we did eat right and take care of ourselves. Then what? Well, you enter into the “third act”. And now it is a time to think about what to do with it. So much of what we are brought into the world experiencing stays with us all through our entire lives. By the time a person is reaching their sixties, in good health and reasonably active then there is another 30 years to do things.

Back in the 1950s for example, a person reached retired at 66.9 years of age with their lifespan being 65.47 years of age. So no one really had years of retirement like say, 2005. Retirement was 61.7 with life expectancy being 75.2 years of age. That meant a good 13 ½ years to do something with out work taking up that day. And now a mere 7 years later it is longer.

So what to do with time now is what matters. My husband has a aunt and uncle in their 80s. They are semi-retired. But they are so busy traveling, dancing and socializing that they make us feel dizzy. My neighbors are in the 80s and they are there daily working in their huge yard or checking on the business they built. Many people starting as early as 60 are retired with years on their hands wondering what to do it. Sitting under a palm tree on a desert island sounds good in a fantasy but in reality being engaged with life is what keeps us living a long and productive life.

I think about what needs to be let go of and what needs to be held on to. Both my husband and I lost our parents well before our fifties. We have not had the wonderful privilege of our parents teaching us to grow old. We are punting. By doing so there are three things we find very important.

• Let go of the past. Not sure why but it seems like the mind hangs on to things in the past that were negative messages. Reactions to life, regrets about relationships with our parents, our siblings, our children or the life we built so far. The best thing to do with that information is to let it go as a lesson well learned then move on. Recently I pulled out a letter my mother wrote while I was in my forties before she died of cancer. We were never close. I think the last ten years of her life she spoke to me as a person more than ever. Her letter was one of regrets, forgiveness and moving on. I am glad to have that letter as it allows me passage from the past to the present and a good teaching tool for my children into the future.
• Being with our children and grandchildren now. There is nothing like a critical health issue to bring the family together. Grandparents reaching a moment when they are overcome with aging or illness. Why wait. Now is the time to teach about growing old, who we are and what we have been. And to teach the great circle of life by example and maybe some family lore. And that dying is part of that. I have watched a few people I know handle these issues well. Like I said I didn’t have my parents around to help me so I learned by observance.
• Find something to do that is meaningful. Okay retirement is here. The big hoopla is about older adults trying something adventurous like sky diving. But not all older people in the “third act” are into risk taking. For me it is education. So I went back to college. And I found there is a whole group of us older folks there. I found meaningful volunteering. Again a group that wants to do this. And I find that meaningful means I want to be more in touch with my children and grandchildren because more than ever I know that this day I am in right now will only last 24 hours and there is no do over. Make friends, find old friends. Whatever it is that makes our world spin. Except for one thing I never ever want regrets.

I am lucky. I have mobility, I am involved in things and close to my family and friends. I have thought more and more about Jane Fonda’s discussion about The Third Act on TedTalks and how how much time I have left. I have a lot, barring any unforeseen circumstances. So I am planning for the future because yes I have one! So I will get to the business of living!

Perks Of Being Over The Hill

• There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
• Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
• You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
• You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them anyway.
• You can sing along with elevator music.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
• Your eyes won’t get too much worse.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you???? ”
• You can get into a heated argument about pension plans.
• You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
• In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run — anywhere.
• You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.

I hear a lot about “Smart Gardening” these days. Environmentally sound farming and gardening is good sustainable landscaping. By using natural resourcing we can protect planet earth as well as make gardening less time consuming and burdensome. I know what happens when things go wrong.

The house I live in we, my husband and I, are the second owners. The yard had been completely over planted. Some planting was not thought out and over crowding has led to many diseased shrubs and trees, as well as our turf struggling to survive. What I am trying to do with the aid of my “tall guy” to help is lessen erosion, stabilize the soil and save energy in maintaining the yard. Over time we have removed countless tree and shrubs. Some have just fallen down from poor planting. Others we have had to call a tree surgeon for removal.

I have read about smart gardening that says you need to analyze the yard and determine where to grow things but it is much different if it is an already established yard. This yard was 28 years old when we took it over. Needless to say, the poor old girl needed a facelift. Changing a landscape is time consuming as well as a huge financial cost. Both of these need to be considered when doing so. Because of this we are making changes over time.

What we have done to lessen fatigue on plants that were over crowded is to first start with a walk around both the front and back yard. We counted our trees and shrubs, looked at their placement to find the good candidates for removal. First, the sickly or the dead were easy to rid of. It is important to remove invasive plantings. We still have a couple trees in the landscape to go in that area. We removed congestion in the front yard first. By taking out about 11 shrubs and 2 trees we have lessened stress. We still have both trees and shrubs too close to the house that clearly are misplaced. Six 40-50 ft tall evergreens within 5 feet of the foundation of the house struggle for cohabitation with us. When you know that a 50 ft tree dropped on its side is the circumference of the root system obviously it is not a good idea to have them that close the foundation, we are working on this project. 

Regarding the pines and cedars we have taken down about 15 because of overcrowding and 30-40 bushes. The reason I bring this up is my property is only one acre. It is still has close to 90 trees and shrubs on it so you get an idea how overcrowded it has been.

I have a few things that are important to me in my landscape. One is birds and wildlife. It is important that I maintain a tree sanctuary for them. I have dogs. A fenced in area that is user friendly without fear of poisonous plantings is important. I like the sustainable gardening so rain barrel conservation is crucial. So far I have two rain barrels working on a third one for the front yard. Most seasons I can rely on Mother Nature to sustain the landscape with moisture but the weather at times, does not cooperate so the rain barrels come in handy.

Soil samples. I am a huge fan of soil samples. Instead of guessing and wondering what is ailing a planting, what fertilizer to use or herbicides/pesticides nothing beats a ready made soil sample from the local County Extension office. For example, this past year I lost 8 pine trees and 3 cedars with the threat of losing more either to disease or pine beetles. As a Master Gardener I was pretty sure what to do to amend the soil but I was wondering if my pH was out of balance so I sent in a soil sample. Imagine my relief to know that my soil is pretty healthy. I was given good recommendations for this season and already from a great rainy season everything is perking up. If my tall guy and I had not gotten this soil sample we would keep taking out trees that were healthy.

I know that there is a great deal wrong with my landscape but it was a tired “lady” when we moved in over ten years ago and being an avid gardener I could not wait to help her heal. She is not all the way back from her illness but we are making great strides. Some plants that are close to the house like my Camilla is not a shrub and requires more room. I keep it trimmed like a bush but eventually it will not be happy. I love my Camilla because I know it is a heirloom plant as are many others that were planted years ago and have a history.

There are good things in my yard as well. As time has gone by the landscape and garden takes time and love to heal. I am up for it. Wonderful thing about the earth. It will recover if treated right. Smart gardening is the wave of the future. It is here to stay. As I continue to learn new things about Smart Gardening I will be happy to share.

Even in the South spring can come too early. Here are a few of the flowers that have been popping up since mid-February.

DAFFODILS

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze….
~William Wordsworth~

The question of how long to keep food in the pantry, in the refrigerator or fresh has changed as our packaging and preservation develops over time. Simplicity of “old school” made it pretty easy to remember when to get rid of things. Many canned their own food or did their own meat preservation but things have changed. So how long can you keep luncheon meats in the refrigerator? Can you refreeze if, oops, because we decided to go out to dinner instead? What about the packaging date?

I think everyone is pretty sure that extra care is needed with handling meat, poultry or seafood. For example, never stuff a turkey the night before it is to be roasted and when storing after dinner separate the stuffing into its own dish. But what about refreezing? Here is a basic rule of thumb; if you have frozen foods in the refrigerator (where it should be thawed) if it can be refrozen IF still has ice crystals on it (no longer than 1-2 days). Meats are a bit different. Once they have been thawed they should not be refrozen.

You know that “sold by” date? That is to let us know that within a reasonable time period food stuffs will still be edible. Some things like yeast, unbaked breads, etc break down over time. So best to use by fresh date. Same with dairy products.

Usually the fresh or refrigerated food stuffs are pretty easy to store and I know when they are past a good eatability time. But the pantry easily can be neglected. Like Baking Soda is only good for about 18 months, or bread crumbs really should only hang around for a maximum of 6 months. Canned foods doesn’t mean safe forever. Most have a date that they are only good for a year if unopened. The only way I can remember this is to write the date of purchase on the bottom of the container so I know how far into storage time I am.

I got off on this because I wanted to freeze unused dry products like flour, sugar, corn meal and other baking goods. I thought I could just freeze them and bring them out when I needed them. I was wrong. Even in the freezer they have a shelf life. And when I can use them they need to be brought to room temp then they are ready for use. I did not see if I could refreeze them anywhere online so I am going to take the exact amount I need only not the entire container.

And the storage bins in our new tech refrigerators have a purpose. It is important to group fresh vegetables according to their storage requirements.

Once I got the hang of it I found my food lasts a lot longer. I find that I do not over shop for things that will need to be thrown away. The beauty of our society is that we can always get fresh foods within minutes at the store. Some people are turning to home food preservation. Old world canning and drying of fruits and vegetables. There is nothing like opening a jar of home canned peaches or green beans. But the rules have changed some here too. It is not so much rocket science as technology advances we learn better ways to home can and preserve food stuffs. 

There are plenty of good source materials online that can be a good guideline. Even as I get older I have to readjust to the advanced understanding to keep my edibles well, edible!

I also found I have gone back to the simplicity of fresh foods or unprocessed. All the more reason to be careful how to keep them. Foods loaded with preservatives and chemicals seem to have a longer shelf. But! Even they can not be kept forever.

While walking through a meadow that I take frequently for my daily exercise I noticed that there are tiny little white flowers beginning to bloom creating a light carpet of white.

They are not all out yet in full bloom but it reminded on another time and place. A forest walked in years ago, Hallerbos. Just down the road and over in another commune in Belgium.

The Hallerbos in the spring were carpeted with Blue bells. I tried to find my personal pictures but they are on digital so I am had to find a website to show you.

The Hallerbos (Dutch for Forest of Halle) is a public forest in Belgium, mostly situated in the municipality of Halle, in Flemish Brabant. It is located about 15 Kms south of Brussels.The forest is a beautiful place for a walk at any time of the year, but for a few weeks in spring, it is something very special. Hallerbos, also known as The Blue Forest, is carpeted with a sea of blue flowers. The Common Bluebell (Hyacinthoides non-scripta) is a spring-flowering bulbous perennial plant with flowers shaped like tiny bells. They thrive under the beech trees of the Hallerbos in late April.

The pictures of Hallerbos are copyrighted so you have to click on the paragraph above to see these beautiful flowers. Enjoy!

the fat rope of tea
from the pot
to my mug
and the icicles all in a row
bulbs sit on the windowsill
waiting for spring
and I find an envelope
with pressed bluebells
from that day
you tucked them behind my ear
and ran your fingers through my hair
and when I got home
I pressed them in a dusty cookbook
letting them hold their fragile beauty longer
than the other sprigs it grew with
lucky them
I saved them
so I wouldn’t forget
that you could be sweet
when you wanted
and even now they still haven’t lost their scent

By TheArchitect, Madison WI

The house had a large living room. It opened into the dining room on the left and my mother’s bedroom on the right. The dining room had a bay window with a window seat. Underneath it was a drawer. In the drawer were sewing materials that we kept for making clothes, quilts or whatever home made things my mother and us girls could think up. Above the drawer on the bay window seat my mother would put some house plants. Those plants were just lovely. But the pad that they sat on was my place to hide things.

One of the things I would hide there were my paper dolls. I haven’t thought about paper dolls for quite some time. About fifteen years ago my youngest sister reminded me how I loved to cut out the paper dolls. And I did. I loved the clean lines and I loved my paper dolls. She bought me some paper dolls at that time for old times sake. I still have the set, I just can’t part with them.

I got to thinking about some of the paper dolls I have had. One was the Betsy McCall series It was cute enough, I did cut them out to play with but I really liked the fancy paper dolls like movies stars or the bridal paper dolls.

Elizabeth Taylor, American Movie Star

And sometimes I would just cut the models out of a Montgomery Ward or the Sears catalog. These little cut outs made good neighbors to the “real” paper dolls. Then I would tear out the pages and fold them into different pieces for furniture like a couch or a table and chair so my little people would have a home.

Montgomery Ward catalog

As a child I never thought twice about when and how they were first made. It never entered my mind that these two-dimensional toys had a history. But I was curious when I learned that the celebrity paper dolls were quite impressive, A doll portraying the renowned ballerina Marie Taglioni, published in the 1830s. In 1840, a boxed set was done of another ballerina, Fanny Elssler, as well as of Queen Victoria.

Of course, my idea at the time was that a celebrity was someone like Elizabeth Taylor. Queen Victoria never entered into my childhood consciousness. Or the Barbie series were sought after. The Barbie products were just rolling out when I was a child. Barbie was launched in March 1959 so by the 1960s she was the hottest girl toy around.

Paper dolls were more than a personal toy for me, they are an era gone by. But I still love the memories of playing with them. You can still get paper dolls however, back then you could find them anywhere. You didn’t have to special order them on Ebay. Nowadays they are a collector’s item.